Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Day Five

i wish my mission statement was to ride to the lincoln memorial. or to become closer to my brothers. no, not really though. money raised for good charitable cause. my friend johnpaul said to me the other day something to the effect of, 'fear of failure is what used to keep us from trying anything. that's the last fear you have to face.' well here i am and i feel awesome. my knees weren't going to make it, even tamara. coming back from the mall, the left knee felt exponentially worse than today with all the weight in tow. good decision.

i was on this stretch of uninhabited (beautiful) land, on a road twisting in three dimensions, and thought to myself how silly this is to do alone. i pictured a knee hyperextending on an uphill, and my mother's worst fear come true. i found out later over the phone that she and my father had many such practical, realistic fears yet kept quiet while it was appropriate to do so. thus i've been allowed to learn these great lessons myself. i'm glad they had that much faith in me. i want to be someone that allows all the doubts and concerns of people who love me get to my ears because those voicing them know i'll listen, not hold back because they know i'll be defensive and justify why i'm right, or why i've already weighed my options... blah blah balh.

it's clear that any faith you all had in me was with the knowledge that i'm surrounded by such parents, brothers, friends. without them the alloted optimism would appropriately be greatly lessened. i have faith in myself because of them, because of you.

i'll be back in NY trying to sort out the nightmare that is my noncompletion of my undergraduate degree.

i will continue the ride one day, picking up here in D.C. where i left off. maybe not straight to N.O., but i will ride there eventually, albeit piecemeal.

i would not have crossed the GW bridge without andy. i would not have left Philly and got through maryland without thom.

these realities are the biggest benefits of the whole thing. my brothers supported me. they made it happen.

my life is so real. hope to continue to try and prove how i appreciate my privilege.

soft weather


Anonymous Justin G said...

You are a winner!!!!!!

8:11 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

Mr. Celsius- I'm so glad you are respecting your knee. I come from a mafia which states that we must not try to force solutions or have unreasonable expectations of our knees and others' knees. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your poetic utterances and remain your devoted fan Marilyn Landeis

6:40 AM  

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